On sneaky reviews

For reasons best known to me, I hardly read newspapers. Even when I choose to pick one up, I go for the magazine section more than the main paper. My Dad and brother are avid main-paper readers, though. For them, it would be disastrous not to be up-to-date with all that's happening in the world.

I read papers for different reasons. Sure, I want to stay up-to-date, but with the events that are happening in the cities. Other than that, I read reviews and short, frothy articles in the supplements. That's it. Until last year, we used to subscribe to the Times of India; we found that its supplements as well as its main content sucked big time. We switched to the meatier Hindu, and boy, are its magazine pages full of stuff! I like the Hindu supplement for 3 reasons - 1)it has some interesting content(unlike the ad-bombarded Bangalore times), 2)impeccable(even if sometimes, a little pretentious) English and 3)it features a full page Travel section for at least 2 days a week, and a TED talk section once a week.

Last fortnight, I read this article in the Hindu:

The title says,'With a slight tweak'. Neither the title, nor the picture of Liam Neeson above it, nor the short description says anything about the real content of the article - the review of the recent Kannada movie Chingari. And what a bashing it is.

That the review rips the movie apart is not interesting; I've read more ruthless reviews. Although I've not seen this Darshan-starrer, I'm inclined to believe the movie is as bad as is shown in the review. Again, for reasons best known to me.

What's interesting is that this review is not under the reviews section, that one can come to know what it really is only by reading the entire article. My immediate inference upon reading was that Kannada movie reviewers are shit scared to write honest reviews, to say exactly what doesn't work and what does, and so have to either be diplomatic and dull, or cleverly hide the reviews like this one.

Of course, I might be wrong. I'm no Kannada movie buff, my knowledge on matters Sandalwood is rudimentary at best. It's just a hunch. Moreover, I've read umpteen reviews on Kannada releases that go like 'Kumar's camera work is brilliant. Supporting actors Raja and Rani pass muster. Technical director Ravi does justice to the movie. Stunt director Ajay gives some good moves to the hero.' Some shit like this. I mean, c'mon! Who wants to know who the fricking stunt director is! And what does one get from the review anyway!

I also know for a fact that die-hard Darshan fans will watch the movie, maybe twice or thrice, regardless of how it is. These same people will take great umbrage when a slightly bad review gets printed. I have a friend who's a die-hard Darshan fan. Happens in every film industry, I guess. I myself am an SRK fan, but please, even I feel that Ra One's the most ridiculous movie ever made. Adoring stars is fine, but not expecting others to like them too. I wonder if Sandalwood reviewers too scared to step out of the herd, or are they paid to write reviews that reveal nothing.

The final part of the article is a gem:

'Our censors are turning out to be laughing stocks. The Kannada word for buttocks is beeped but when the most popular English f word is mouthed by a foreign girl it's not! They probably need to improve their vocabulary!'