Mosquito Army

I held the bat high over my head and waited.

Eyes sharp, breathing slow, deliberate.

Waiting, watching.

My reflection in the cupboard mirror showed a half sleepy, half frustrated girl in a nightdress, with tousled, sparrow-nest hair, with what looked like a tennis bat in her hand. Posing like that hero guy(what’s his name?) in Star Wars.

It was 1:45AM.

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What was I doing, up against my will at 1:45 in the morning, with a bat? Intruders?

You betcha.

The tennis bat like thingy was actually a bug zapper I’d bought in Majestic recently. I was very excited to use it. So excited, in fact, that as soon as I got the slightest hint of a mosquito in the room, I was up from my deep, deep slumber, bat in hand, murder in my sleep-deprived eyes. Never mind that it was the middle of the damn night.

Never mind that the mosquito was a cunning fella(female, actually), was very well concealed to my short-sighted, no-specs eyes.

Never mind that I had a long day tomorrow.

Shit.

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“Oh, for God’s sake! Switch on the Good Knight!” one part of my mind said. This is the practical, smart part, the one with all the common sense. I one I hardly listen to.

The liquid mosquito repellent sat ready in the socket, with arm’s reach.

But no. The other part of my head was hungry for blood. Mosquito blood. Or is it my own blood? I wanted to electrocute the bitches, would not rest until I heard the satisfactory zap! as the mosquito is mercilessly fried.

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Ok, I have to admit. I’m not sure now(in the light of morning) if there was a mosquito.

I’m prone to vivid dreams, weird nightmares. I usually don’t remember much of my dreams, only a bit of the last scene sometimes. Last night I’d dreamt of a mosquito commander orchestrating a surprise attack on me with his massive army. All units were hovering inches above my face, ready for the commander’s signal. That was when I jumped up and grabbed the zapper. Don’t know what I did to anger the mosquito army so. But then, as I said, I only remember the last scene.

Now, I laugh about it. It’s funny how things that seem so real, so tangible in the darkness, appear so ridiculous when kindly light leads.

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Anyway, last night, at 1:45AM. I stood like Beatrice Kiddo with my Hanzo for about 15 minutes(Yes, 15 minutes!).

Not a peep from the enemy.

Then sleep, and a sense of resignation came over me.

Oh, well.

Like a good damsel-in-distress, I let the Good Knight protect me and went back to sleep.